Tag Archives: life

Back in the drivers seat

Posted by on September 3, 2008 No comments

After a few dips in the road last week, I’m back on track for me. This past weekend was great. I met some really awesome people, hung out with old friends, and generally had a good time. I also took the time to do some more work around the house. Painting, hanging shelves, mirrors, re-arranging, cleaning the hard wood floors, doing laundry, dishes, dusting, etc, I did a lot. I was called ‘very domesticated’ but I prefer ‘manly’ since it sounds more manish.

Other than that I’m fairly content with my life at the moment. I’m still itching to get out of the house and move closer to civilization, but that will come in due time. The house really is draining to live in since I can’t do many of the things I want. I can’t have my things out or organize it how I want. Don’t get me wrong, having it clean all the time is great, but there are days when I just don’t want to vacuum or do the dishes. But living with the constant state of someone might want to see it makes all that not possible. So I deal, and I try to make due with what I have until the time is right, which it will be at some point.

Yesterday I started back running. I managed to pull 3.26 miles w/o stopping. Felt pretty damn good after. I’m in a training program to run a half marathon in November. I will make this goal. I think I could’ve gone farther yesterday had I had more water and some fuel (granola bar, energy bar, peanut butter, etc). So there’s that. I’m keeping to this, mark my words.

So yeah, I’m here and I’m me.

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The day after…

Posted by on August 4, 2008 No comments

Well today went a LOT better than I expected. I woke up and decided that I was still a bit to sore and tired to go in. That and I wanted to have a day where I could get some stuff done around the house. Lucky for me Monday’s are the perfect days for that.

So far I’ve managed to re-organize the living area and move that humangeous chair up to the now empty spare bedroom. I put an end table in there and a ottoman. The parents are bringing over some book cases later that I may put in there, but I’ve not decided yet. I also managed to hang my new TV on the wall, but I’m thinking it may be about 4-5 inches higher than I want it. Once I get some other stuff on the wall around it I may change my mind.

Once I got most of the house cleaned and a bit more tidy, I called the carpet cleaning people and had them come out to give me an estimate. Well, as it turns out they had all their stuff and since I was happy with the estimate figured I’d go ahead and have them clean away. I have to say that the carpet looks a bajillion times better. I have a feeling that it will have a pretty big impact on the selling of the house.

Other than that it’s been pretty normal. I’ve been working and then taking a break to eat or watch tv or check the mail or surf the net. I feel a lot better than I expected to feel. That doesn’t mean I feel great, good, happy, joyous, it just means that I’m not moping around feeling depressed, watching shitty tv, and eating ice cream. mmmmmmm ice cream……

I anticipate that I’ll have my good days and I’ll have my bad days, but that’s part of life. That was/is the norm for me anyway.

Aight, I’ll finish this up later. I got a few more things to do around here.

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Another day, another eh…

Posted by on July 1, 2008 No comments

It’s barely 6:00am and I’m already feeling pooped. I just don’t have any motivation to do anything today. Perhaps it’s the 9 scheduled meetings and the thought that there could be a few more thrown in for good measure. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m being throw to the wolves at work and asked to to things that I feel are moarly wrong. I don’t know, work is just beating me down lately. I’d like to go in and just be able to knock a few things out, pack up and head home. That sounds an aweful lot like some of my older posts, but it’s true. I’ve been given all the responsibilities of a manager, all the duties, tasks, and all the shit that goes with it, but I’ve not been given the proper tools, title, or pay that support it. Next month I start my Managing Smarter classes which should be pretty good…after the 14 months of courses.

Other than that life right now I feel is just kinda there. My head is in so many different places right now that I’d like to just run away from it all. I really do want to just get the heck out of dodge some days, but I can’t. I have to much to lose to leave. I have my good days, and I certainly have my bad ones, and for some reason I feel like the bad ones are starting to pile up. I’m in a rut, emotionally, physically, mentally. I have no idea how to get out of it, and I don’t want to be candy canes and sugar pops on the outside and feel like doodoo on the inside.

One of these days….

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Nothing important, general update, eh

Posted by on February 21, 2008 No comments

I haven’t really been’a postin’ lately and I attribute that mainly to work. It’s been hectic around here, but things are starting to level out. I probably have another week or so before things truly calm down. We’re about to start the upgrade to our new Content Management System and that’s going to be a beast, but we’ll survive.

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today i cried…

Posted by on August 11, 2005 No comments

Man, things just really suck right now. So here’s the scoop:

On the way to work, I was listening to R.E.M. – Automatic for the People and it mad me really sad. Rather than turn it to something else or put in something a little more up beat, I kept listening. For a change I wanted to be sad. I figure this way any of the emotion that I’ve been holding in would get out. Over the past few weeks/months things have gone both uphill and downhill. I know that seems impossible, but it’s true.

Things with Maggie and I are great. Well, I say great, but what I mean is that the relationship is great, but the living conditions (the constant mess, the 2 house to keep up with, the pets…grrrr…the pets, the laundry, the yard, the dishes, the fridge, the washing machine, the paint, the TV, the TiVo, the garage, the garbage, the WoW, the carpet, the lack of being outside and hanging out with ALL of our friends, the inability to sleep through the whole night, the junk food, the cheese, the mud, the slow toilet, the routine, the traffic, the hours, the annoying people, etc.) kinda suck.

I’m done with it. I want to exercise, play the piano, watch movies, watch TV, watch stuff on TiVo that came on yesterday, go outside, plant some trees, rake, swim, run, walk, jog, drive, go to Sean and Neal’s place, go to Sunday Night Dinner, see my parents at least once a week, talk to Maggie’s mom, talk to Jenny and Andy more (there are some awesome people), impress my boss, wear clothes that fit, fly a kite, have a picnic, bake something, cook food that doesn’t burn, get up early, go to be late, stop, go, talk, laugh, bathe, fart, finish Harry Potter (I already know the ending but that’s not going to stop me from reading it), re-read all the other Harry Potter books, read another book, anything that I want with out feeling depressed.

So here’s the plan. I will turn off the computer and only turn it on the a) check my email, post/read LJ, or if I feel like it and everything else is done play some WoW; b) work on at least 1 thing every night that will either get me/Maggie in better shape or get her house closer to being on the market or sold; c) go to the dentist; d) see my parents each week; e) cook dinner at least 4 nights a week. If I can do those 4 things then I think things will start to pick back up.

So what prompted all of this? Well Tuesday I stayed home from work because I didn’t feel good. I did work stuff until around 2 when the WoW servers went back up. Maggie and I then proceeded to play until about 6, have some dinner and then play until about 9:30. Then we went to bed. The times/details may be a little off, but that’s basically it. I was non-verbally reprimanded by my boss for not calling in (I sent him an email). I felt super bad about this. WoW is to blame. So now, I’m angry at myself and its time for a change. Everyday we come home and the house looks like shit…it won’t for long. I’m going to change things in my life, I’m going to improve my work ethic (which is already higher than most people that work here, but that’s not good enough for me), and I am going to get our houses fixed up.

I understand that I’ve said a lot of the same things over and over or jumped around, but this is my LJ, I can do what I want. I understand that I’m at work right now that I’m contradicting one of my own goals, but again…this is mine. I told Maggie that I was not an “I’ll start on Monday” kinda guy, and I’m not. That’s why we started last night. So I cried on the way to work and it made me realize some things…its life, and I’m not 100% concerned about that. I’ll cry again some day and I’ll move on.

On a side note my mom is my hero. I love her more than anything ever. If you could see how the expression on her face has changed over the past 9 months you would understand. From the first trip to the hospital to today she is a completely different woman. She ditched the wig and is now a proud person. Proud of what she has done, and is no longer ashamed to go out in public with what little hair she has left (it is growing back now). Her treatments are done and they said that everything looks as good as it can look. I can only hope to one day be as half as strong as she is.

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